Always, Sometimes, Never
Thanks to Wishcake for the idea (months ago but finally getting to it.)!
I always…
- sleep with both my eyes and mouth a little open. (sexy, I know.)
- order crabcakes if they are an option on the menu.
- run 20 times harder when Damaged by Danity Kane, Case of the Ex by Mya, or Give it to me by Timbaland featuring Nelly & JT come on my i-pod.
- cry at the end of League of Their Own. I am totally Kit and Sister #3 is totally Dottie.
- turn red now when I get embarrassed or if I’ve exerted myself while working out. This is new as of just a couple months ago.
- signal when I am turning in my vehicle. If I’m pulling out of a parking space in reverse, I still indicate which direction I will be reversing. I also put on my hazards if I am waiting for a spot that is straight in front of me. I over communicate even while driving, in other words (or while trying to explain how I always signal…).
I sometimes…
- go into total stalker mode. If you want to find out if your lover is cheating or what his ex-girlfriend looks like let me know. I can find out.
- have the laziest days ever. Sometimes I think of myself as a cell phone that needs to charge and then can run and run on the charge for some time. That is why I call these lazy days “recharge days”. If I don’t have them…I run at about 40% and make many errors.
- get really choked up about how happy I am. (cheesy, I know.) I seriously feel like in a blink of an eye a lot of the pain I was going through went away and was replaced with L-O-V-E. This love has made me fearless to do some things I never thought I could do.
- wonder how my life would be different if I continued on with ballet and never took the break I took to play sports.
- wish I could go back and really try harder in school. nothing would really change but I would have liked to try harder in some of the liberal arts (non-major classes).
- wonder what my parents really think of me. not just in relation to the family but as a person in general.
I never…
- will get colored contacts even though I think I’d look pretty fly with green eyes. I think it’s because I wouldn’t be able to accept compliments on them. I’d find myself saying, “They’re fake.”
- will get over my feelings of disgusts towards walking around water parks with bare feet.
- talk within 15-20 minutes of waking up. It hurts me to.
- have watched a full episode of The OC, The Bachelor, Survivor, CSI, Law and Order, Jersey Shores, Real World 2 and on, Flavor of Love, etc…
- want a roommate unless it’s Tony, ever AGAIN. (crosses fingers and toes I can pull it off financially)
- want to walk down the aisle with anyone but my Dad giving me away. (sorry, I know that’s sad and presumptuous that I would ever get married, but if I ever were to…)
Enjoy some photos from our “non-engagement” professional shoot by photographer Roberto Westbrook . They aren’t touched up yet or anything but I thought they were fun. I threw in a picture also of things currently keeping me sane while going raw vegan – orange/pineapple/cranberry juice mixture (bomb), my I LOVE DANCE water bottle and my belated birthday gift from Ashley. Thanks, Ash!!!
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Tags: 2010, about me, beau, blog friends, dance, positive, update
Sans roommate, meat and heat.
Whoa. Well hello there, Blog.
Considering this word document has been up for most of the day and I still haven’t gotten around to it, I think I can honestly say, “I’m busy.”
You see, I have major issues with whining especially when people complained that they are “so stressed out and busy”. My definition of busy means, “You don’t have time to blog, facebook, or watch TV.” So if you’ve updated your status, wished everyone happy birthday on your facebook birthday list, and posted photos on facebook, in my world, you had time to do much more productive things as well…you just chose not to. (And stop wishing for Friday because it’s not like you are going to do anything productive then either…) <end vent>
Anyways, since I last blogged, not including my first philanthropic project of 2010 a lot has happened.
- Philanthropic Project#2: Food Saftey Seminar for Girl Scout Troops
- 7 weeks of training and then I’m the newest instructor addition to the local Bar Method studio. (SUPER stoked)
- Roommate is officially MOVED OUT. Operation – make second room into an office will begin ASAP.
- I’ve furthered simplified my life including focusing on close friends or people I’d want to be closer to and pulling away from “others”. (Don’t worry they don’t read my blog, this isn’t a passive aggressive bullet to make people feel like shit.) Honestly though, I feel so much better not having to TRY so hard to make a friendship work.
- Dancing HARD. If Tony didn’t live so far away some might suspect that there is foul play going on in our household. My arms and ribs are covered in bruises from the piece I am in for the Motion Flux dance show.
- Our story was featured on Rachel’s Love Project Blog. Check it out ! Apparently both his mom and one of his aunts cried reading it.
- Dad is still on deck for surgery. He is walking now. 35 minutes per 1 mile…I tease him and tell him I could run almost 4 miles during that time. He just laughs.
- Work has worked me. Tons of projects. It’s great and they put the green light back on our 401K’s. Millionare by 50? Possibly… there is more adventure to be had in the world. Although my vacation time starts to increase as of this May as well… so maybe I can have the best of both worlds. We’ll see…….
- Fitness Goals have become less task-like and pretty much lifestyle. Working out and eating healthy (for the most part) have become second nature to me. I still keep a calendar but I don’t have to put a gun to my head anymore. Especially since I’ve decided to become a BM Teacher and with 9 hours of dance, I kind of really don’t have a choice. Eating healthy has become ridiculously easy every since I’ve…
- …started Budgeting! No cable has not effect my life in the slightest. Thanks to everyone else watching things for me, I don’t really miss out on anything. I’ve made a conscious effort to turn lights off when not needed and my electricity bill reduced by 1/3. That is including 7 loads of laundry by the roommate which will be no more. Can’t wait to see what February is going to look like.
Eating out is not an option and I’ve been eating mostly vegetables and only lean meats if they are on sale. Which leads me to my next experiment –
Psuedo-Raw Food Diet Diet inspired by Mimi Kirk. (Voted Peta’s Sexiest Vegan Over 50).
I will be doing this starting February 9th until Tony gets here for Spring break, March 3rd. I’m scared because I normally eat hard boiled eggs like it was my job. I get nervous because I know it requires a lot of planning and worst if all, what if I’m starving and need food like NOW? Or if I get invited to go out to eat?? I’ll definitely blog about this experiment. I call it the “Psuedo-Raw Food Diet” because only breakfast and lunch will be raw. Dinner won’t be a tri-tip or fried chicken meal, rather it will have steamed veggies/whole grain/and optional lean protein.
I also decided to think completely out of the box in regards to training for the 1/2 marathon in March. I think this might be one of those things where if it works I’ll share and if it doesn’t…well, I’ll share and feel like an idiot. :-X
Any takers on going “Psuedo-Raw” with me??? (totally okay if not…I get it.)
Anyone already eating raw or have eaten raw?? Suggestions?? Recipes??? Drawbacks???
ps. So I started smoking again like last summer due to stress from the Giant Couch Potato and I have been weening off of nicotine since around August…I finally kicked the addiction this past Holiday Season. Just thought I’d put that out there. 
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Tags: 2010, about me, beau, busy, dance, fitness goals, food, goals, happiness, nutrition, psuedo raw food diet, quitting smoking, raw food diet, roommate, update, workout
Rhythms of Life – Dance for AIDS
This year one of my “Promises to Myself” was to be more philanthropical. Last year, it was “Buddy Break” and this year I am helping promote a dance show for the Ventura County AIDS Partnership with the United Way.
Please check out their website if you are interested in supporting.
Note: I will not be performing in the show. Unfortunately, we did not cross paths early enough. Possibly next year!
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Tags: dance, philanthropic
My Letter to Facebook
*Disclaimer: highly sarcastic*
Dear Facebook,
Thank you for allowing me to see what’s going on with people I don’t care to actually keep in touch with during regular hours of my day while I am whitening my teeth and waiting for Riley to finish his kibble at 11pm at night.
Thank you for letting me know when people make if official/break-up/engaged/married or that the cliff hanger to their favorite TV show was INSANE or that that they want to f*ck their lives or something along those lines (FML?). Oh and let’s not forget the TGIF’s and the Manic Monday updates or the infamous, “Is it Friday yet?????” whines.
Thank you also for making most of us look better than we would on any given day. Nevermind running into our exes at the grocery store, I have a hot picture I took of myself on my lap top after I’ve stepped out fresh from a salon. Remind me to take a picture of myself the next time I look and feel like ass, I wonder how many people would “LIKE” that.
Thank you for reminding people that I know would never otherwise know it’s my birthday that my birthday is “next week, tomorrow, and today.”. Clearly the more wall posts you get the greater love and support you should feel.
Thank you for allowing entertaining people who otherwise hate their jobs or as I have previously mentioned want to f*ck their lives. Apparently they like farming now and join mafias? At least they are over the vampire biting phase.
Thank you for making it even EASIER to maintain already ½ ass effort relationships. No longer do people have to type full sentences to agree or encourage a “friend” we can now click on “LIKE”.
Facebook, thank you for allowing me to keep in touch with my boyfriend’s, former friend’s, ex-girlfriend that never spoke 2 words to me at parties but decided that we were close enough for her to request a FB Friendship with. I think I would die if I didn’t know what she was up to every 10 minutes of the day.
Is it sad that I wouldn’t be too surprised that someone updates their status, “_____ is currently dying in the hospital” OR “______ is watching their house burn down. Should I call the fire department or try to use a fire extinguisher?”???
This leads me to thanking you for helping some people make important decisions in their lives- like which career path to take or whether or not they should go back to school and what to major in or whether not they should move to the East Coast. You must take much pride in knowing that you are relied upon for such important life changing decisions.
It probably sounds like I should break-up with you or take the time to go through my “Friends” list and delete about 80% of the people but for some reason I can’t. “Defriending” will probably cause drama and passive aggressive status updates like, “ ________ thinks SOMEONE is a bitch for deleting me from her friends. SOMEONE who’s name rhymes with Donnie.” Idontknow (shrug). Regardless, it’s just easier to continue as is and laugh at how you are abused by so many.
I think you might die one day like your cousin, MySpace. If that is the case, I’m sorry. Remind yourself, you were definitely the cousin with more class. Myspace was just down right tacky.
Until our time together comes to an end, let’s keep our relationship as is. Minimal, wall-less and the ability to hide people from my home page feed.
XO,
L
ps. Ironically enough, while I was typing this I received an email from Sister #3 that broke up with you about 1/2 a year ago. Looks like I have some tweaking to do. NY Times Article on Facebook Settings
What are your thoughts and feelings towards the infamous Facebook?
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Tags: 2010, facebook
Events of an eventually eventful new year:
- Health care system is ridiculous. Still waiting to see when/what/how/where Dad’s carotid artery and abdominal aneurysm will be operated on. Take your time folks really. (sarcasm)
- I was 11,000 miles over my lease when it expired. I thought for sure I was going to get hit with a crazy fee and/or extend my lease or buy Flipper (old car), even though I kind of wanted something new. I put on my finest Sunday clothes and took a deep breathe. Going into a car dealership alone (especially as a young female) can be intimidating. I spoke with confidence and looked them dead in the eyes and before the night was done they bought my car off of me, as is, no fees, nothing and I got my new car, Keifer. So excited!! As some of you may know, I was rear ended TWICE in my other car and I used to smoke in it. Ewwww…cheers to a new start.
- Every morning my roommate (bless her) throws her shower cap (alone) into the dryer to dry it for any where between 30 minutes to 1 hour. It drives me nuts. It’s a waste of energy which is a double whammy financially and environmentally. While laying in bed hearing the dryer door shut and the poor overly used/abused machine turn on I decided, “I don’t want a roommate anymore.” I’m never home and I’m SICK of paying up the ass for someone else to “wear & tear” at my home. After a conversation with Tony and looking at numbers I decided, I’m going to do this on my own. I am going to be the MASTER of my own damn condo for once (at least until May when Tony moves back.) We are stoked to not have to share the place with someone. To have an office to have romantic dinner/movie nights, etc… YES. I can even get one of my “New Year’s Promises” out of the way and paint an accent wall”.
- I have an interview today with a school for music and dance. I hope I land it to gain a second income and more experience for when I decide to hang up my corporate stilettos.
- Culinary School is ridiculously fun. We worked with dry heat methods (roasting, baking) and I made the most bomb pizza ever. Seriously. I met a fellow neighbor who bought her place back in 2006 (a year before me). She paid about $100,000 more than I did. This made me feel a little bit better about my situation.
- Work it out weekends. Well, I gained about 3 pounds over the holiday and I’ve lost 5 since thanks to Work it out weekends. I view weekends as days to read, clean, and work out like crazy. I love it. I sleep well and I feel amazing and happy. This is what I did this weekend.
Friday:
530-630 Bar Method
Saturday:
730 – 830 Bar Method
900- noon Modern Dance
300- 600 pm Audition
Sunday:
930-1030 Bar Method
200-330 Bikram
Monday
745-830am Run
600-700pm Bar Method
Running is going to integrate itself heavily into my workout regime. I don’t want to get caught with my pants down by the ½ marathon. I wrote out a 30-day calendar and post it on my mirror and I have a copy at work as well. Everyday I do everything on it I cross it out when I don’t I write in a giant “FAIL”. I’ve only allowed myself 2 since November.
Here’s a print screen of HALF of my Bar Method history. I had to share because my jaw dropped when I saw it.
So that is my every changing 2010. New car, no roommates, converting second room into an office especially for Tony over the summer to work on his thesis, and feeling scared, excited, and liberated all at once. I can’t wait to wake up as early as I want run, make a smoothie, shower, etc…. I can watch whatever I want and have the best food in my cabinets and fridge without someone eating it while I’m away in Virginia. Woohoo!!!!!!!!
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Tags: 2010, busy, dance, fitness goals, happiness, long distance relationship, roommate, work it out weekends
ADH 421: Advanced Adulthood
If there was such thing as the University of Life and we were all enrolled students than I am currently enrolled in ADH 421: Advanced Adulthood. While I can still feel joy from many blessings (both in form of people and things alike) there is a lot of heartache and stress happening at the same time. In my past it would either be sunshine and rainbows or pouring rain, right now I feel like there is a storm and sunny beautiful weather occurring simultaneously.
Allow me to further explain in bullets.
The Great (some have been mentioned in previous posts but I feel the need to have both great/shitty things listed to get my point across)
- Culinary School and Dance Start
- Trip to SF and Virginia
- Work is “good busy”
- Health is great
- Romantic relationship/friendships/family are swell
- Coming off an amazing high from my birthday
- I won’t be having to deal with my roommates psychotic/non-stop barking dog
The Shitty
- I have to either find a good roommate or find $600 plus/month or dip into my “emergency savings fund”.
- Dad needs surgery.
- Surprise! HOA fees went up another $50 a month.
Okay, so maybe the great outweigh the shitty but those 2 shitty things have pre-occupied almost every free moment of thought. If I’m not working out or working, I’m thinking about my Dad’s well being and/or emailing/posting ads/asking around for anyone looking for housing and/or moonlighting opportunities. One second I’m laughing and eating grilled shrimp (one of my favorite things) and the next the shrimp are drowning in tears because one of my biggest fears could come true (losing my parents, more specific, Dad not seeing me get married or have a family (if I were to do either)).
As for the housing situation, I’m trying to control my stress level and remind myself that no matter what I’ll be fine. It just might cut into my fun funds or I might have to be a bit uncomfortable either financially or with a strange roommate under my own roof. It’s only temporary. Tony will be here in May/June and I won’t need a roommate by then. It’s only money. Right? It’s the devil. It really is.
Some things I’m doing to cut back expenses.
- I already suspended cable until April 1st. (Glee returns!) I might extend the suspension if I don’t get a roommate and just watch it at my sister’s recording of it or wait for the DVDs. We’ll see. (saves $30)
- Reducing Bikram to once/twice a month. (Sound of heart breaking) (saves $100-$120)
- Eating like a bird. (saves about $80)
- No Brazillian. (saves $70)
- No threading. (saves $20)
- Pool only one night a week. (saves $32)
- Only soda at pool (saves $40)
- Growing hair out (saves $20/month would pay $40 every other month or so)
- Possibly refinancing car (saves $????)
- Walk/Bike to work (save roughly $10 on gas plus a bonus $65 from work for going green!)
- Limit gas refills to only 2 tanks a month. (saves $80)
Thinking of getting rid of internet (additional $20) and…*sigh* but last resort, do Bar classes at home on my own… *gah*(save $180).
This is temporary and you know…I think it can open doors to great things. Hitting my goal of reading one book a month. Running versus yoga (especially with ½ marathon in March). Lower utilities without TV always on. Sleep earlier with less distractions. Being friendlier to the earth with less driving.
Any money saving ideas??? Please share!
In the meantime, I’m trying to stay positive, have patience, and keep a good attitude throughout. I’ll share some photos some of the many people that have helped keep me positive. Thank you and I love you all!!
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Tags: adulthood, blog friends, dance, family, finances, goals, happiness, OML, pool, positive, roommate, update
Plugging back in.
As I shift gears from a lovely, relaxing, absolutely perfect 10 day vacation back into my normal grind I’m slowly catching up with the blogs I follow.
1) I’m glad everyone seemed to have a wonderful holiday.
2) I totally dug all the 2009 year in reviews.
3) I’m loving all the New Year’s resolutions (I like to call them promises) everyone has set for themselves.
Since we’re about 6 days into 2010 and I’ll be 28 in less than 24 hours I thought I’d follow suit and review my 27th year of living…in bullet points of course! (duh!)
- I celebrated my first birthday with Tony. He took me to the Magic Castle on a Wednesday which was the BEST thing ever. Great seats for all shows and being able to be the assistant multiple times was fab. That weekend we celebrated at Whisperz and sang karaoke with a handful of friends.
- Lots of traveling was done (relative to my prior years) – Virginia, Michigan (and all states in between), San Francisco, Kauai (boyfriend of the year!), San Luis Obispo, Spokane, and Seattle (and all town in between), San Diego.
- To quote my alma mater (high school), I truly stood by the motto Actions Not Words. I gained weight over the summer and hated how I felt so I did something about it. I was still struggling with self confidence issues within my relationship so I talked about it and weened myself off of going into negative nancy mode or Comparisonland mode. I found myself stressed out about people who would suck the positivity out of my life or social commitments I’d dread going to and decided to learn how to gracefully say, “No, thanks.”
- I…er….We cohabitated. It was heaven. Then it took work (in addition to the removal of a Giant Couch Potato). Then it was apparent that I have lucked out and found a perfect teammate.
- I danced in tights on my toes and in sweats to rap music. Danced from silk 20 feet in the air. Danced on a pole swinging my hair around and around and around and around. Namaste-d in both room and high temperatures. I ran my second 10K and signed up for a ½ marathon. I pedaled on a stationary bike like it was my job and did nonmilitary boot camp to Gaga Music Galore. I discovered Bar Method and Cardio Barre and gained enough strength to hit doubles during softball games. I danced with Ellen.
- I have about 300 recipes under my belt at work along with my 3rd successful team building culinary event at the national sales meeting. Raises were not given and I had the courage to pipe up and demand (okay, request) that I go to culinary school and they pay for it. They are and they threw in some extra loot in the 401K (aka spoil my grandchildren and travel around the world fund).
- I watched my friends get engaged. I watched them walk down the aisle. I watched some find their soul mates. I watched some embrace their singledom.
- I started going to church but then decided that I really am not about any one religion and a church community and would rather just be a free lance, independent, good person/doer while having my own personal/private relationship with God. Please respect that as I respect ALL.
- I literally woke up and became a pool shark. I actually profited from this “just for shits”extracurricular activity of mine and am now a 2-time League MVP. Whaaaat? I know. So frickin’ random.
- I’m battling a mysterious viral infection that caused me to break out into a rash and makes me red and splotchy when I’m embarrassed or working out. The boyfriend says it’s normal for Irish people. Not so normal for the brown me. It freaks me out every time.
- I met in the most uncreepy way people from the world wide web. My BBFF (blog best friends forever – duh!). They’re even better in real life. Amazing. We call ourselves a “book club” because we are still t0o young to be an official Red Hat Society.
- I did 2010 promises with Tony and we came up with a pretty awesome list that makes me so excited that I dance like the girl in “Shut up, woman! Get on my horse” during the instrumental break. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Click here.
Keeping it simple.
I’m pretty convinced that 2010 and my 28th year will be amazing. One of the books I am reading is about simple living and I’m really trying to do so. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all the stimulating things around me. The car radio, cell phone, internet, TV, etc…all these things are so easily abused.
I want to be present in what I’m doing. I’m always trying to juggle too many things. Keep it simple. Focus. Do it right the first time. Then move on. I’ll probably do this well and will fail at times but hey, at least I’m going to try.
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Tags: 2009, 2010, 27, 28, about me, fitness goals, friends, happy, lond distance relationships, positive, relationship
As I prepare to unplug from twitter, facebook, and blogging until 2010, I find myself fairly pleased with life. It’s far from perfect but I am so grateful for a lot of people and “things” in my life. I’ll spare you the long list of the above mentioned people and “things” and instead get excited for 2010.
Here are 10 reasons why I believe 2010 will be wonderful:
1. Perfect 10.: 10 is my favorite number. I’ll turn 28 and 2 + 8 is 10. Amazing.
2. Wellness at an all time high.: My wellness levels are still going strong. Usually by now I would’ve grown tired or lazy of eating healthy and working out but I have seriously created habits that have stuck with me. This upcoming year, bikram will be reduced as I will need more time to train for the ½ marathon in March. (I’m scared, I’m not going to lie. I hate running.)
3. Virginia is for Lovers.: A trip to Virginia during Presidents’ Weekend (aka Valentine’s Weekend). It’s been so long since I’ve been out there (last May!) and I’m looking forward to hitting up my favorite restaurants, new sights, friends of Tony I’ve met and new friends that I have yet to meet. This summer we will also be going up to Priest Lake for a week with Tony’s family. So excited!
4. Looking for a place to call our home.: This is the year of opportunities. Visiting potential places of residency and starting to plan out our future as a NON-long distance couple after MFA school.
5. One of the cool people on campus now.: 2009 has really paved a nice path for 2010 career wise. There has been a lot of successful projects and events under my belt here and I have more confidence in my work and my position within the company.
6. QT with friends near and far.: As soon as the year turns, I get to plan a trip to see some of my wonderful nor-cal friends. Also, I plan on going to Vegas to meet up with a lot of bloggers that I never thought I’d ever have an opportunity to meet.
7. My inner Julia Child: Culinary classes start up right away. I will have to miss 2 of the classes (I can’t stand missing class) but luckily I will be able to make them up later in the year. Bon Apetit!
8. Tiny dancer still dancing.:I decided to take ballet and modern. In addition to auditioning for the show (not getting too excited though because my schedule is very limiting) and if I don’t do the show I decided I am going to add hip hop on Monday nights.
9. Financial weight loss plan.: I’m on the right track and I’m hoping to become even stricter and shave off any unnecessary expenses. There might be potential obstacles in this department with the lease on my car ending and with Rachel possibly transferring to Texas but I’m ready to embrace the challenge. Thank you, Adulthood for never boring me.
10. Resume flair.: Adding to the resume. I have 3 projects I’m focusing on. 1) I’m somewhat a substitute dance teacher. I’m hoping to get something more concrete soon. 2) A friend from my morning Bar class owns a gluten free company and I’m offering to consult for her. 3) I’m playing with the idea of creating a strictly recipes only blog for PKU friendly recipes. As some of you may know, Tony has PKU and in the past year or so I’ve developed a lot of unique recipes that are low protein. I’ve searched online for low-protein recipes and they tend to call for fancy products or seem outdated. I think the PKU world needs a friendly, friend and personable voice to provide quick and easy low protein recipes.
What are you looking forward to for 2010? Trips? Career moves? Moves? Events?
Riley says, “Happy Holidays and have a wonderful New Year’s! Be safe and have fun!”
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Tags: 2009, 2010, about me, dance, fitness, food, happiness, overshare, working out
Second to last post of 2009
Last week we had a video shoot which shot both Thursday and Friday. I put in about 12 hours each of these days. Pure adrenaline got me through a dance performance the night prior to a 6am call and also Thursday night during our championship 9-ball match which we won. I got to bed at 3am that night and was up at 6am. (Yes, I still made it to bar – addicted.)
Now it’s these 2.5 days of closing up 2009 and setting up for 2010. I have some fun stuff to look forward to. Tomorrow we are having a lunch at the Malibu Family Wineries and then I get the rest of the day off. Rachel and I are going to bake and then I’ll be going to Bikram.
Wednesday is a half day and I’ll be doing my last day or working out and packing up my gifts and warm clothes for my trip on Friday.
Thursday I’m going to church with Sister #3 (first Holiday separated from her husband *sad face*). Then we have our HUGE family gathering with lots of food and many gifts to be exchanged. It is seriously out of this world.
Friday morning at 8am I fly up to be with Tony and his family. I’m so excited to experience his family’s traditions with them. I’m also excited for them to open their gifts. We got his mom this beautiful necklace with all 3 of her boys’ birthstones.
The rest of the time up there we plan on going to Seattle, working out (getting a 1-week gym membership at a local gym, hot yoga (they don’t have “Bikram”), doing holistic stuff with his mom, snowshoe-ing, skiing (or attempting to) and ringing the New Year in Washington-style. Thank goodness I don’t have to deal with LA and its always disappointing NYE.
We get back in January, 3rd and 4th. I have my birthday and Sister #2 has her huge 40th birthday bash. It’ll be excited. Tony already has thought up some ideas for my birthday (I don’t believe in planning your own birthdays nor am I one of those people that celebrate my birthday like it’s Hanukah for 8 consecutive nights.) I think it’s my humble upbringing as being the youngest of 5 children and having a birthday so close to Christmas.
So that’s it for dance and pool for the time being. Although I might drop in on some classes for dance. This weekend was great. I just did exactly what I would want to do – saw my family, cleaned and organized like a mad women and ate healthy the whole time.
WIN weekend = spotless and completely organized room, no booze, no lard food, bikram, bar, finished book, caught up on sleep
I highly recommend this book to everyone.
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Tags: beau, book, family, travels, work, work it out weekends
Our (non) Engagement Story
I had a light bulb moment last Thursday that has made me breathe easier and most likely helped Tony breathe easier (and might possibly help those of you who are on the slower track to marriage breathe easier as well).
It all started last week when one of my high school girl friends got engaged. Then one of Tony’s good friends from college proposed to his girl friend. And then (thanks, Facebook) the 3rd engagement was his ex-girlfriend.
On one of our quick phone dates between boot camp and pool we were talking. My smartass self asked him if he was “okay” with his ex-getting engaged and he said he was glad. Then he continued on to say the only negative feeling whatsoever is because even if he wanted to propose he couldn’t because he doesn’t have the means. Hearing that statement as if he doesn’t want to propose made me feel like, well, an idiot. I always thought he wanted to marry me. I mean, duh, why not?!
So then I asked (kind of freaking out but not really), “Wait, even IF you wanted to??” Then he quickly emphasized that of course he wants to but our current situation (bi-coastal) is not ideal in doing so at the moment and of course, not having an actual income as a graduate student. So then the “Girl Power/Independent Woman” in me decides to say, “Well that’s fine. I mean I’ve already done a lot as a single female. I already have my own place, I’ve had 2 careers, and by the time I get married I will have gone through my 20s single accomplishing this and that without a partner where other girls have the luxury of having someone to accomplish these things with.” I was about to lose my shit. My grand cherry on the top was, “Well, whenever you feel ready I hope I even want to still get married because what’s the point really???” (Can we say, Snarky Bitch?)
This whole time Tony remains completely put together and calm. Replying, “Well, I would hope you would see the point in me wanting to marry you” and also, “Do you not feel like we aren’t there for each other right now as support?” (I don’t know how he does it, it being putting up with my freak outs and well, of course I feel his support even from 3,000 miles away but that wasn’t my point.)
The first round of pool playoffs were awaiting me and we had to end the conversation in the meantime. While I was sitting watching my teammates play I had an epiphany so as soon as I got in my car I whipped out my phone. I said, “Bottomline: I want you. I’ve always wanted to get married but for whatever reason, if it never happened for us, that would be okay because being with you is more important to me. I don’t care as much about the what as much as I do the who.” This (well there was more but that was the key part) was my proposal to him and he reciprocated like feelings and reassured me in saying that he wouldn’t know why marriage wouldn’t happen for us.
The voice in my head that caused me to have this epiphany pretty much said, “You idiot. Do you know how lucky you are to have someone in your life like this? Someone smart, a goal-setter and goal-getter. Someone that nurtures your lifestyle instead of slowing you down?? Focus on that and forget all the outside noise. That shit doesn’t matter.” And that voice was right – it’s not a race (I’m competitive by nature, sorry!). What creates a valuable, quality relationship is not a ring on a finger or a legal document, it’s exactly what we already have and continue to invest in and I am without doubt, so grateful for that.
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Tags: about me, beau, goals, happy, long distance relationship, love, positive
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The Person Responsible For This
L
